Don’t believe everything you think about yourself – ask these 4 simple questions

I have the privilege of speaking and helping a lot of people. A common theme I hear is “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I don’t know what to do”, “I should do more”, “I should know better.” and so on. Often we put so much pressure on ourselves by the thoughts we choose to have.

If you have ever fallen into that category then here is a very simple tool for you. It comes from the work of Byron Katie where she simply asks 4 questions beginning with “IS THIS TRUE?”

.... Is it really true that you are dumb, not good enough and should do more? ...... search your mind, body and heart ... really search.

 ..... Is this really true?

.....  How can you know for sure that this is true?

.....  How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

.....  Who would you be without the thought?

Really sit with this and ask yourself these questions. These questions are know as THE WORK. The great thing is, the work simply implies the work we do on ourselves.

More often than not we get so caught up in our own thoughts that we actually start to believe them. I have done many courses and read many books and I find the strategy created here by Byron Katie to be not only simple but effective.

Here is an excerpt from her “Little Book”.

Links to the full book and worksheets based on this strategy can be found below.

Byron Kathleen Reid became severely depressed while in her thirties. Over a ten-year period her depression deepened, and Katie (as she is called) spent almost two years rarely able to leave her bed, obsessing over suicide. Then one morning, from the depths of despair, she experienced a life-changing realization.

Katie saw that when she believed that something should be different than it is , eg, “My husband should love me more”,  “My children should appreciate me”,  she suffered, and that when she didn’t believe these thoughts, she felt peace. She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but what she believed about the world around her.

In a flash of insight, Katie saw that our attempt to find happiness was backward—instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match our thoughts about how it “should” be, we can question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. Katie developed a simple yet powerful method of inquiry, called The Work, that made this transformation practical. As a result, a bed-ridden, suicidal woman became filled with love for everything life brings.

Inquiry: The Four Questions and Turnaround

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without the thought?

and

Turn it around, then find at least three genuine, specific examples of how the turnaround is true in your life.

Eg, if your initial belief was that someone doesn’t care about you, turn it around by asking, how do you not care about them.

I encourage you to download the worksheet for free and read the rest of the “Little Book”, it has much more examples of how this strategy works.

Let me know how you go

With love and light Daniela

X J X