What is really true for you?

I recently read something that said “don’t believe everything you think”. This is because what we think is often an interpretation of the stories we tell ourselves. If this is the case, then how do we know what is really true and what are just stories going around in our mind?

Our minds are constantly unchecked chattering, mostly going round in circles which then creates a loop of thought. The danger in this is that we can easily get caught in this loop like a fish in a fishing net and not be able to find our way out.

For me, ......
 I have always been a thinker, people who know me have described me as an “Eveready battery – always going”. While this has served me well to achieve all the things I have to date, the more time I spend on my own in my magical paradise in the mountains, the more I realise how destructive over-thinking can be.

Our lives are filled with so much distraction. We wake up and turn on the TV, we drive to work and listen to the radio, we go for a walk and put ear phones in our ears. Not to mention the phone ringing, internet, people’s expectations and the everyday demands that come from connecting with others. Basically, our life is full of noise. Add to this the chatter of our own mind and we wonder why we can’t hear the truth of our own soul, follow our heart and find direction in our purpose.

The solution ...... STOP ..... that’s right, just stop. Stop running, stop chatting and stop the distractions. Even if it is for 10min a day, just stop.

I have been following a Canadian TV show called “Being Erica” for a while now and in the last episode she had just broken up with her boyfriend. She spent the next few weeks keeping busy by hanging out with friends, going to the gym, drinking at night and flirting with other guys. She couldn’t understand why she still felt so sad, why her mind was still playing tricks on her and why she couldn’t seem to move forward. It was in her time of absolute frustration that she said to her friend “I just can’t keep doing this anymore”, her friend replied, “Then don’t”. In her actions of trying to move forward she was simply avoiding the truth. Her running was simply her avoiding her feelings, to avoid the pain of loss and change.  It was only in her time of stopping that she was able to feel the pain of her break up and then move through it.

Sometimes we will do anything to avoid pain. The irony is, we can’t move past it until we feel it. It is in the feeling that comes truth, liberation and freedom. Emotions are like waves in the ocean – they come in and out, some big and some small. The one thing we know for sure is that we cannot hold back a wave. If we try, we can only do so for so long until it bursts at the sides and then overwhelms us to become uncontrollable, or worse builds to form an illness.

It has only been in the moments of my own running and confusion that I realise I must stop, for when I stop, it is only then that the truth is revealed to me. When i say truth I mean the questions that I ask myself of,  “Am I OK?”, “Am I worthy of this moment?”, “And can I survive this wave of emotion?”

The answer thankfully is yes, although at times it has felt like it could be NO. Sometimes the pain is so great that it is my mind that I must detach from for sometimes there is no reason but just a feeling.

While this may sound a little heavy to some, I make no apologies, for this is the truth. The truth that is our feelings, and the world of joy cannot exist without the world of pain. This does not mean we focus on pain, it simply means to not avoid it if it exists.

If you feel you are running on the wheel of life and going no-where, then stop. Ask yourself, what am I feeling? Is there anything I could be avoiding? Can I survive in my own loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, If this is the feeling for you? Am I truly worthy of this moment? And, Can I accept all parts of me, both talents and flaws? Can I accept my own growth and allow new ways of thinking and feeling to enter my world?

I don’t mean answers to these on a piece of paper but the answer that lives in your heart. The heart voice is much more subtle than the ego voice hence the necessity of stillness and quiet.

I encourage you to cook dinner with no TV, no radio and no music or drive for 10 min in the car with silence. How does it feel for you? The level of discomfort you feel will tell you how distracted you are from your feelings. Stillness requires discipline and courage, can you be still for 10minutes?

Now sit for 10 minutes without distraction, without noise and be still. Try observing the cloud in the sky, the tree in the breeze, the bird sitting on the fence or the rock motionless on the ground. It doesn’t matter what you focus on, but choose something to hold the space of stillness. Notice any discomfort or distractions that come to mind. Be honest with yourself ...... you owe it to yourself to tell the truth. Learn to connect with your feelings as if they are a wave lapping on the shore moving in and out. They are never motionless, learn to observe them, sit with them and be honest with them.

You can keep running all you like but you can never run from yourself because no matter where you are, there you are.

Be at peace with yourself, all is well.

With Love and Light

Daniela