Self Mastery Begins with Self Love

How many of you want to grow a business, earn more money or have more freedom?

I think it could be safe to say that most people fall into one or many of these categories.

When thinking of growing, we often think of discipline, planning and action – the core foundations of self mastery. Well, I can tell you from first-hand experience that Self Mastery only comes from Self Love. It doesn’t matter how much you want, yearn, crave and plan. If you are selling your time, your services, your soul, then it simply won’t happen. In order to gain anything, we must learn to commit to our self before committing to others.

The challenge is that in business, especially start ups, we are so intent on PLEASING everyone that we will do almost anything to get the sale. The irony is that often we sell our self in the process and don’t even realise this until we are working 18 hour days, waking up restless in the middle of the night and sabotaging our health and spirit in the process.



The result is that our energy becomes depleted, we become tired and gaps begin to appear in our services and possibly our health.

If you want to grow, you MUST commit to yourself first.

I remember starting out as a coach and trying to take on as many clients as I could, run seminars, balance my books and maintain all three websites at the same time. I was then left wondering why I felt tired. I found I was giving so much to other people that I had forgotten to give to myself. Thankfully this lesson was short lived and now I feel very comfortable saying NO, setting my own agenda and knowing when enough is enough. I now take time out to sit in quiet, listen to the birds, I sing in the car, I read in the garden and breathe effortlessly the morning air. I include yoga in my weekly schedule, I commit to daily walks,  I nourish my body with nutrients, my mind with learning’s and my spirit with self love. These are not things I fit in if I have time, these are necessities in my schedule. These are the things that are MUSTS for me. How can I possibly teach other people to be a master of their soul if I am not a master of mine.

As a result, I live what I preach and love  what I do.

Often people come to me in desperation and absolute certainly they are ready to change, ready to grow and ready to take charge of their life. I lovingly listen to their vision, their story and their perceived obstacles.  We begin & finish our session and they are completely gob smacked with their “To-Do” task of self care ...... “is that it” they respond ...... “yes, that’s it - for today”, I say.

The result..... people smiling, people laughing, people being kinder to others, basically people living. Businesses are growing  at a rapid rate (one client by 250% in 6 months), dreams are being realised and visions achieved. All people had to do was actually commit to themselves, to get in touch with their own inner voice, make time for themselves and actually notice the decisions they were making to either support themselves or not.

Self Mastery in not about MAKING something happen but rather ACKNOWLEDGING the decisions we are already making to nurture ourselves. It does not require DOING anything except noticing how we look after ours self. I mean, imagine for a moment you had a pet you adored or a small child who was dependent on you – how would you care for them? How much attention would you give them? How would you prioritise your time for them? .... Now imagine that favoured pet or child was you.... can you commit the same level of care & time? That is your challenge ... to CHOOSE YOU.

As a dear friend recently said to me – “stop living on auto pilot and start living consciously.”

In summary;


Step 1 – Take 10 min a day to commit to you
Step 2 – Notice how often you choose you
Step 3 – Become aware of when you choose you and we you choose others
Step 4 – Make more conscious decisions to choose you – there will be another Blog post on this one as this is the next major step. In the mean time, you cannot get to this point before you do steps 1 – 3.

If you want to learn more about SELF CARE and the strategies to do so, I strongly suggest Cheryl Richardson’s book (or audio book), EXTREME SELF CARE.  It is simple, effective and a must for any person or business person seeking growth, improvement and freedom.

Much love


Daniela