We spend our whole lives seeking but seeking what. We spend our whole lives striving but striving for what?
These are the questions I am left pondering on this day....a day where i am filled with abundance at every turn. A day that sees me blessed and alive, yet still i seek. What is it I am seeking?
Next, Im thinking, am i over thinking. Am i Turning myself inside out for no real reason, am i just bored?
God only knows.... what an interesting term. What if god does know, what if god is in me? Does this mean i might already know? what if i do actually know?
Then it hit me..... what if i know but am not listening to my own self. What if my higher self is actually trying to communicate with me but my mind and ego are getting in the way.
So, i thought i would try a little experiment of observing my own thoughts, observing my own mind, what i call the ”ego voice” that I so frequently hear, observing it to see what am i actually saying to myself in each moment, how am i seeing the world and interacting with it. How am I playing this game of life?
Here goes....
Wow ... Do you know how hard that is to do? I have found myself reacting, having tone in my voice and snapping at the smallest of things. I have been loving, kind, generous and open. I have also been rude, inappropriate and negative. Hmmm.... maybe Im not a saint after all.
So this time, instead of judging I observe – every time i find myself being “human-like” I giggle and say “there she is a again”. I’m left with nothing but acknowledging her, loving her and allowing her to learn and express herself in her own way. It is the process of judgement itself that is the ego-mind.
... and then a breakthrough..... In doing so i am learning that I am perfect as i am and I acknowledge that i do not need to be perfect in what i do....phew... what a relief...what an amazing concept – it is worth repeating. I AM PERFECT AS I AM and DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT IN WHAT I DO..... now back to living on this earthy plain.
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