A five part series to opening our heart, our minds and our spirit
In part three of The Simple Laws of Self Mastery, we explored the concept of what to do when it all goes wrong. I mean lets face it, Self mastery is easy when life is going to plan, but what about when it is not, then what are you suppose to do?
In Part 4 we look at the different layers and personalities within your PSYCHE. I don’t know about you, but sometimes there are days that I feel really clear, certain and aware, and other days where I feel lost, alone and so ‘un-together’. Sometimes I feel like there are all these different personalities playing games in my head that seem to go round and round creating a world of confusion and doubt. I can be a great leader and teacher and then I can react like a wounded child with a tantrum in a shopping queue. In Part 4, we look at understanding the workings of our mind and our own psyche. We explore the different parts of our self to better understand our strengths and lessons to learn. Remember, it is through awareness and understanding that comes self acceptance.
1. Law of understanding our Identity
Judy Garland once said that it is better to be a first version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else. I tend to agree, so who exactly are you? How would you describe your identity?
Are you man, woman, mother, father, sister, husband, wife, friend, lover? Or do you define yourself as your work role? As a teacher, nurse, accountant, builder, lawyer, business owner? Or, perhaps you think bigger picture and describe yourself as honest, humanitarian, loyal, dreamer, strong, charismatic? Eg, when someone asks you to tell them about you, what do you say? Do you describe what you do? Who you are or how you be? It is often interesting the labels we place on ourselves because as soon as we place a label on our identity, it means we place expectations linked to that role. But before we look at expectations, we need to look at how we define our identity.
• Spend a few moments to consider all the different parts to your identity. Make a list of who you are and how you define yourself.
• Now review the list. What is the common theme or common words in your list? In one sentence, write an identity statement of who you are.
2. Law of Expectations
We have just looked at how we have many parts to ourselves, parts often defined by our identity. The danger with this is that with each identity we place a box around ourselves for what this identity means. Along with that comes the expectations of how we should behave. Eg, “I am a mother and mothers are supposed to .....”, or “I am an asthmatic therefore I cannot ....”.What if we are more than the identity we give ourselves? What if we can be more? How can we grow if we put ourselves in a box? For this reason it is important to be mindful of the labels we place on ourselves, to be mindful of the expectations we associate with these labels and remove any limitations we may place on ourselves based on these labels. This may be difficult for some people as some people tend to be very attached to their labels. Sometime people use their labels to gain significance, especially people who use their illness to gain attention from others. Be open and I urge you to challenge yourself, tell the truth to you.
• What labels do you place on yourself?
• Is there more to you than this label? What is it?
• What could be possible without your labels? Who else could you be?
• What labels do you have about you and how might they be holding you back?
Have you ever felt that you have many personalities or voices running around in your head? Some days you may feel peaceful like a saint, other days you feel like a clown, others you find yourself acting as a mentor and some days you feel like a warrior. While there are many people who talk of characters in our own mind, Dr Caroline Myss is an amazing spiritual teacher who speaks extensively about the archetypes or the characters that live in our psyche. How many characters live inside your head? The wonderful thing about working with archetypes is that they help us learn about our strengths. You see, every character in our psyche has both a positive quality and a negative one. Eg, the child archetype is who you are being when you are laughing & playing and also when you are having a tantrum. You may experience the mentor archetype when you are helping someone or when you are trying to manipulate them for your own gain. The point is, all your archetypes are here to teach you about you, to help you learn about your actions, behaviours and interactions with others. Do not let the names fool you. For now, just explore the characters that live within you. Identify who they are and start noticing when they come out to play. Have fun with it, no you do not have a mental illness, these archetypes are just the energy of the mind and actually play a powerful role in helping you move through your life lessons. We will continue talking about archetypes another time.
• Make a list of all the characters you can think of and how you act them out eg, the victim, child, prostitute, queen, king, prince, princess, joker, teacher, nun, warrior, saint, vampire, magician, humanitarian, etc.
• Start to notice when you play out these archetypes, what are the positive and negative qualities of each.
• Make a note of the characters you see other people playing out.
4. Law of knowing your power animal
Have you ever heard the term “animal instincts”? We have just had a look at our archetypes but another way to look at our strengths is by exploring our animal qualities. Have you ever heard of people being described as “quiet as a mouse” or “tough as a bull”? By thinking of people as having animal qualities we can begin to better understand not only our own strengths but explore the dynamic between people. Eg, when working with parents I often ask them to describe their children as animals. Often there is the “cheeky monkey”, the “emotional water dragon” and “the fiery lion”. By looking at the characters in this family, are you starting to see how the dynamics of this household would look? I then follow this by asking the parents how they describe themselves, one of them is usually a dog, and we wonder why dinner time feels like a zoo. In this situation, it would be common for the parent to be loyal by doing everything for others and little for themselves. The lion may be controlling the action and gaining all the attention, the monkey may be trying to get attention through games and the water dragon may hide away in the bedroom feeling lost and out of place. By working with the qualities of these animals, you can then begin to better understand what each person in the family may need. How the dragon needs nurturing, the monkey needs more play time and the lion needs tasks to feel purposeful. These inner animals can change over time and can be different in different situations eg you may feel like tiger at work but a fish at home. Whatever you come up with is perfect for you at this time. Let’s explore your inner animal.
• Firstly you need to take a few deep breathes just to centre yourself and ask for your mind to be open.
• Now close your eyes and think of your yourself in a specific situation either at home, work or elsewhere. If you had to describe yourself as an animal what animal would you be? Begin in very general terms and trust what every image, feeling, or name comes to you – what is it?
• Write it down and now think about the qualities this animal has? Is it strong, shy, small, big, moves fast, slow, comes out in the day or night? Does it have a lot predators or perhaps it is the predator? Does it swim or fly? Write down all you can think of?
• What are the positive qualities and negative qualities of this animal?
• If you want to take this one step further, think about a situation with you another person. Close your eyes, breathe, be open and imagine both you and the other person, what animal are you in that situation and what are they? Again write a list of the qualities of each animal, what does this tell you about the dynamics of this relationship? The answers may surprise you?
I look forward to hearing your stories of how you describe your identity with your roles in life, characters and animals. Remember the purpose of all this is to help you better understand you. It is essential not to judge or to blame but to understand. In the words of Stephen Covey, “Seek first to understand to be understood.”
In light and love
Daniela
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